How To Install LOVE

A call was made to the Customer Service line.

Customer Service Rep: Yes, ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install the LOVE program. Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see. I have PAST-HURT.exe, LOW-ESTEEM.exe, GUILT.exe, RESENTMENT.doc and LOVE.com running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will erase PAST-HURT.exe from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will also overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.exe with a file called HIGH-ESTEEM.exe. However, you have to completely turn off GUILT.exe and RESENTMENT.doc. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and run FORGIVENESS.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until GUILT.exe and RESENTMENT.doc have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes and once it's done, you should receive a message that says it has been installed in your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes but remember that you have only the basic program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own HEART before you can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Next, click on the following files and then copy them to the "MY HEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.doc, REALIZE-WORTH.txt and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.doc. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any fault. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.exe from all directories and to make sure it is completely removed. Then you will need to empty your recycle bin.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. PEACE.exe and CONTENTMENT.exe are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

CS Rep: Yes. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is a freeware. Be sure to share it with everybody you know. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool programs back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help.

CS Rep: You are welcome, ma'am. Now that you have installed LOVE, HAPPINESS will be with you always.